Posted: 9th July, 2014 @ 5.12pm
Posted: 9th July, 2014 @ 5.12pm
I’d like to go out on an isolated limb and ask everyone about a topic that is rarely discussed anymore, religion.
This isn’t a topic I’d typically dedicate my time to and I have never fully succumbed to the idea that there is a god, a superior being, or a previously tangible creator. But the more I solidify my feet into that grounded mindset, the more often someone tempts me to lift my heels to be more open minded about religion and what ‘believing’ really means.
So, am I an atheist? Maybe…
My journey in religion started on my first day in a private school that was also based on Gospel values, a Catholic school. With no prior exposure to religion, here I was in a classroom full of kids who had already been baptised and dragged along to mass every week with their family and I had no idea what I was in for. To this day it astounds me that shortly after this I had a candlelit alter set up in my bedroom with statues of Jesus, Mary and the three wise men. Brainwashing? Perhaps…
A few years later my family and I decided I would be baptised. I don’t remember what influenced that decision, but I do know that being ‘adopted’ into the Church of Christ has had no benefit to me at all. Call me crazy, but I’m a firm believer in an individual being responsible for their own destiny. I can also assert wholeheartedly that being forced to pray four times a day during school has done nothing but drive me closer to the belief that I was, in fact, a victim to having my mind forced into the immersion of Christ. I truly believe that this school and its representatives were working to inadvertently preach to us tiny beings that above all else, we should worship this untouchable, unparalleled and idolised ‘spirit’. And it didn’t end with daily prayers. We had mass every other week and on important liturgical dates, and there were even weekly classroom lessons dedicated solely to the Christianity. Needless to say, I’m all over my Hail Mary’s should I suddenly need to drop to penance with rosary beads. I stayed in the Catholic education system for almost ten years and after that I made the leap to public schooling. I’m grateful for that because my eyes were opened, wide.
Now that I’m finished in the archives, let’s fast-forward…
I’m all about the science of creation. As a true skeptic, I only believe in what has been proven beyond reasonable doubt. To me, that is that the totality of existence was formed by the illustrious Big Bang, the idea that our universe was created with one cosmic explosion. But the suggestion that our universe was once compacted into a tiny ball with infinite density and intense heat begs the question… who made the tiny ball that was filled with such expansive organisms? And don’t panic, I know it wasn’t the big man upstairs, but it was something. I can’t condense the possibilities into a witty one-liner because this is the most difficult question facing humanity. Who are we? Where did we come from? How did we get here? These questions bring us to our knees and they seem unsolvable when we get into the endless conversation.
My realisation is that the many different gods that are worshipped are purely something for humankind to believe in for personal prosperity alone, and if that’s your thing, great! But the formation of our universe didn’t involve a man in the heavens whispering commands of creation. In fact, it’s scary to me that people think that. I respect others’ religion, but I just can’t dedicate worship to something so elusive when it comes to our creation. So while I don’t believe there is a deity that should be glorified, there is (or was) something out there that made us. Does this make me a believer? I suppose it does, even if I have no idea of what it is…
Posted 12th May 2014 @ 5.23pm.